Leading Self

How do you feel?

One Idea: You have a choice

If you asked me two hours ago how I felt, my answer would be "stressed". Yes, even Lucie gets stressed out, and I am not a Zen Mental Fitness master, even though my ego would really like to claim that.

I realized my chest felt tight and I felt this pressure, desire to just watch a show on Netflix rather than to sit in front of my laptop and work on my business. I didn't even catch myself feeling stressed out right away. It felt like I was just tired. The inner voice was saying: "just take a few more minutes of break. Have a popsicle, it is really hot, it will make you feel better!"

Popsicle eaten, I felt better. Back to the computer I went, and that tiredness came back so quickly that it made me pause.

Hmm. What's going on? Why am I so tired suddenly? Oh, my shoulders hurt... Wow, I'm tense now. I kind of feel stressed and upset I have to deal with this! Oooh wait a minute. That is not how I want to feel in and about my business!

I'm not going to bore you with a lot of details but the stress had something to do with technical glitches on my website, emails that were not getting delivered and a few other things not going according to the plan.

I realized that if I kept pushing from that tired space, nothing productive was going to come out, I'd just spend hours working without really moving the needle forward. My experience has taught me that. Time to walk my own coaching talk 😅

And, so I paused. And I thought: how do I want to feel and in what state do I want to be while I am working on this stuff?

I wanted to feel curious. I wanted to feel excited and energized by creating something new. I wanted to feel at peace, internally

What do I do to feel that way? That was my next question to myself.

The answer came that I need to accept the tech challenges as a normal part of any new project, rather than complain about it, feel frustrated and victimized, and think that "this is bad and this should not happen" (aka "Hello, my inner Judge"). And to focus on the excitement of creating something new, and on being proud of myself for overcoming this.

And... it worked! I got back to the computer, sat down with new energy, and was able to resolve a portion of the tech problem and got to feel that excitement and satisfaction from not giving up and moving forward.

This week's practice: Intentional Feeling

I invite you to practice the same with me this week. This practice will not only help you strengthen your self-awareness muscles, but will also support your emotional regulation and can give you much better results. Because you will be able to think, communicate and make decisions from a much clearer mental and emotional space.

So what's the practice?

At the beginning of a day, or any new segment in your day (e.g. before a difficult conversation), ask yourself:

How am I feeling now? How do I want to feel in this next segment of my day? What do I need to do or change to feel that way?

And see what happens! The more you interrupt your "emotional and mental autopilot" by checking in, the more intentionally you can lead and live today.

Not easy, I still struggle with my autopilot too. But at least for me, it is worth it. Because I get to have more fun and energy while doing even challenging tasks.

So, how do you want to feel today? :)

If you like, download the bonus resource to support your practice this week.

​Download Intentional Feeling Resource​​​

See you next week, when we focus on leading others.

PS: I would love to hear from you! If you have a favorite way of feeling and an activity that helps you shift, let me know by replying to this email. I can collect the answers and share (anonymously, unless you tell me you would like me to share it's your tip) with others in one of the future issues of our newsletter.

With care and appreciation for you and your inner work,

Lucie

PPS: When I see silly images, it makes me laugh and releases some tension. Like the dog & coffee one above. Perhaps it has brought a smile to you too :)

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